"Cholmetsky" Goldberg and "Ruttenberg" Roth

I heard my mother say many times that she was not really prepared to have children, not just then, but grandfather Goldberg wanted a grandson and about that he was insistent, even though it was soon after the depression and times were still difficult and World War Two was going on.

My grandfather was a tailor from the "old country" and he made all my cloths. That was the deal. If my mother gave him a grandson he promised to make all my cloths. From the time I was old enough to get out of diapers I had hand-made tailered suits. Little military outfits were popular then so I had a navy suit and an army suit. Later on I would have the real thing (in military school and in the army). Unfortunately for my grandparents and for me, my parents moved away to Florida when I was only seven and I never got to spend much time with my grandparents after that.

When I think about it now, that seems kind of cruel to them. My folks moved on but my grandparents who were old and didn't have many other relatives were left alone in Camden. Grandpop come down once to visit but I don't think more than that. And we went up there perhaps twice but not more than a few times. And then they died. It is sad. It isn't like it was when families stayed together and always lived close enough to see each other often. (I'm the one on the left. My brother, Bob, is on the right)

My grandfather came from Russia and family name was Cholmetsky, but at Ellis Island he changed it; it was Americanized and my family's name (on my mother's side) became "Goldberg." Some American name, Goldberg. I think I would have preferred Cholmetsky because of it's difference. But everyone then wanted to blend in. It was more important to become part of something than to stand out from it.

Both of my maternal grandparents lived through pogroms in russia and they left to find a better life. Grandmom came here directly, with her family, but grandpop came by way of England, and there is this rumor than he lived with a women there and they had a child.

"As capitalism developed in the 18th century, it sucked in Arab and Chinese labourers. Nineteenth century London was populated by people from every part of the globe.... the Irish fleeing the potato famine, east European Jews fleeing pogroms, middle class Indians seeking education and social progress, Jews fleeing the Nazis in the 1930s and, of course, the postwar arrival of Caribbeans, Kenyan and Ugandan Asians, Pakistanis, Turks, Cypriots, Kurds... right through to today's asylum seekers - again people from almost every part of the globe."
Passport to Our Past

On my grandmother's side, her father was a lawyer and when he could no longer work at his profession they decided to leave Russia. My grandfather was a tailer and I believe so was his father.

My paternal grandparents were from Austria-Poland. The name was Ruttenberg and it was changed to Rothenberg at Ellis Island and later my dad changed his name to Roth.

At my maternal grandparent's home there was always bagels and lox and at Anna Mae's house there were greens, usually collards or turnups, and pork, which I never ate at home. My parents were not religious but my dad, because of custom, and because his father was orthodox, never would eat pork and we observed most traditional Jewish customs, even though we weren't orthodox ourselves.

I was never in my paternal grandparent's home because when I was born my grandmother was already institutionalized with what they called senility then but now I know it to Alzheimers. My grandfather and my father were estranged and he never spoke of him very much. I understand he worked on the railroad as a porter and he was very religious also. I never had much contact with him except when he was dying and my father and his brother arranged for him to be cared for in a nursing home.

But I do remember the few times I saw him, once in Miami Beach when we were all going to Wolfies for dinner and he was outside the restaurant selling newspapers. Dad bought a paper but didn't bring him inside to eat with us. I thought that was strange but no stranger than having him live down there and never coming to our home but once. He did however come to my Bar Mitzvah and he stood and recited the Torah better than I did and afterward might have been the only time he came to the house.

At that age I was contemplating the reasons for my own existence. How did I get here? How did any of us get here and what does any of it mean? That is the question that I thought about since I was old enough to think about it and the older I get now the more I understand it.

Then I was trying to understand how I fit into this natural world and I tried Zen. I tried the supernatural. I experienced religion. Miami Beach was an easy place to do that. None of it was enough and none of it really answered the questions for me then. The best religion can do is tell you is to have faith and believe in the unbelievable.

But since all life attempts to survive; it is part of our genetic coding, it then seems almost natural to believe in the unbelievable because those who are capable of thinking about these things at all do not have to accept their own mortality and as irrational as it may be will believe in religion which promises an afterlife. Is it a gene that makes so many of us believing Christians or Jews or Muslims or something else?

Science provided the best clues for me. There are no miracles. Miracles are just the way we have for explaining what we don't understand. They rely on the suspension of reason, of the natural laws of physics, chemistry and biology. Science demonstrates that all living things, including me and you and all humans, evolved from a common ancestor.

Darwin wrote that humans are just another animal and that was revolutionary. That idea in the 1860's did rock the very foundations of religion, of philosophy, of ethics and the debate is still going on today except among serious intellectuals and scientists.

As an animal that can think, a lot of my early impressions stayed with me and my associations and experiences determined my feelings and my views. It was because of antisemitism that I became interested in Israel. I was drawn also to the socialist beginning in Israel and the kibbutzim, which are collective farms. Because of Anna Mae and my Jewish culture and traditions I have staunch convictions and have been an advocate for justice.

If I had not grown up in Miami Beach in a hotel from the time I was 7 until I was 12 I would not have been exposed to so many Jewish radicals and listened to their radical ideas, who were mostly older people, who never got tired of talking about socialism and the revolution. That was probably one of the most unique experiences of my early life. The old folks were a wonderful influence. All the experiences they had and the struggles which became mine.